Mood <-> Doom

It's funny how those few small things can change your mood.

No hug.
"Oh ok. that's fine."
Being told off for not doing anything.
Being passed off.
Watching people have fun while you do nothing.
Realization of decaying relationships.
Homework.

I just.. This year is meant to be MY year. The year I take control of. And do better at school and just. Do better in life. Not the year that I start of 5 days in feeling like I did in grade 9, The year I stay up late because I know when I sleep school comes sooner.
I've failed already. Two lots of homework. failed. I'm such an idiot, I told myself I'd keep on top of everything. And I haven't. Two lots, mean't to be done. And my mood is gone. My spirit is gone, the fire, energy, drive. call it what you want.
It's all Melancholy and apathy now.
Everything is just shit and you don't care. Have you ever felt this way? I told myself that I would get better, at these blogs posts, that they'd be happier.
But it's not.
Because these are my innermost thoughts, and when my innermost thoughts aren't happy. How can I be?

I'm so weird.