Monday, August 30, 2010

Evening Friends.

I stay up too late in an attempt to detach myself from the reality of life. The Places, the situations, The happening. I do this by making myself tired, Thus not concentrating, No really being there.

Like being high, With not good parts.

It seems unreasonable, But it's easier for me that way, Or easier for some acpects of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends, and family, But it gets hard, And when that happens, I'm prepared.

It's like my own arsenal of Insomniac Weaponry.

But it ends tonight friends.

My only friend, the end.

I am to sleep early, wake on time, and join in with everyone else mentally, instead of just physically, it means I will remember stuff that happens, Whole conversations instead of just parts, let's hope the good outweighs the negative.

Time to try joining in for once.

Wish me luck.
Rogermuffinstuff, Under his covers, early for once.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The perspective sub-reality of anthills

Have you ever wondered what it would be like, to be an any, to constantly live in fear of being trod on, spending everyday gathering food purely to expand your colonies existence, recognizing fellow ants, purely by sense of smell, have a completely different body shape to the one you have now, a body with six legs and antlers?

This is a sub reality, and one of many, Ie reality through a different prospective, some are major, Such as the any one, or being blind, others are more minor, like being tall, or short.

For you see, reality is not comprised by one single view on the world, But made of several hundred, maybe even thousands, or millions of sub realities all fitting in above, below, next to, and inside each other, purely because of everyone's views on the world.

For example, You may see a shirt as purple, I may see it as a darker pink, because or retinas react differently to the reflected light, The shirt is both of these colors, and more to other people.

Do you understand what I mean?

Friday, August 20, 2010


I'm doing 40 hour famine and Going without Food, And Bedding, I will be sleeping with a sheet on the floor,

It started at 8:15 and I have been going for a good 15mins now :D

If you wish to sponsor me, just contact me, somehow

Any Donations above $2 are tax deductable

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Of Human Interaction and Behaviour.

Why is it that adults assume age brings them infinite wisdom? Or when we do something "inappropriate" that they can talk to us like ice. Cold and as Formal as physically possible? I don't see how this is effective as a method of teaching their children, Or any children. As most Teens just take it as patronizing and ignore then, as is their nature. For instance, I find an adult that talks to kids on their level, without making an obvious effort to, is easier spoken to, and listened to.

Teenage Interaction is simple in most cases, The behaviors easy to see, as well as the emotions. situations with simple solutions, Sometimes made much to complicated by one or more people. But in the end is simple. Whereas Adults tend to hide the solutions to problems and think its better to force a teenager to learn what they did wrong, or how the situation is wrong before they even hint at all as to what it is. A teenager just wants to know what they have done wrong, so they can avoid doing it again. Of course, everyone learns differently, and some might benefit from the adult's method.

I suppose it relies on your upbringing. But to me, everyone in equal, in age, race, gender the only thing that separates us is our comprehension of the subject.

Which brings me to my point of which is, What if The Adults had no more say in the world than teenagers? Would we fall into chaos, Or would teenagers be useful additions to the "adult" Human populace?
This Has been seen in other cultures and has worked, But I suppose they also live under different circumstances.

What's your opinion? Do you think adults have no more a grip on the world then some teenagers?

Also I realize that I am a teenager writing this, but I have tried my hardest to view it with an equal bias on both sides, but then again, there is no point in which I could write this without being accused of bias.

Just my thoughts, Thanks

My life Story.

I was Born on October 24 1995 at Armidale Base Hostpital in NSW Australia. I grew up and moved many times. My parents started fighting, I forget when. I went to Avoca State School after we Moved to Bundaberg QLD when I was young. I grew up there and made friends with a boy named Joshua Scott Modrow. More on him later. I grew up went through school. Made friends. Got bullied till grade 6-7. But I dealt with that. Mainly cause I lost weight and evened out alot. At the end of grade 7. And I mean the literal end. Clean up day. A girl I liked told me she liked me too. Yeah thanks, I kinda wish you had of told me before you started going to a different school. Her name was Sabrina van dan Oever Tuetelink. And No, I didnt make that up. She went to north high and I went to Bundy high.

Against all reason, we started dating. I started Rhee Tae Kwon Do as well. She did it as well. Which was the the main times of got to see her. It was from Tae Kwon Do that I started getting fitter. Sabrina kept breaking up with me to date other guys that liked her. It pissed me off, so I told her if she did it again (after 6 times, I was a wuss back then) I wouldn't go out with her again. Kept doing tae kwon do, me and Sabrina broke up after 6 months. then my life kinda blurred. did Tae kwon do for about 2 months more then stopped cause my assessment was overwhelming. Went back a month later. Then stopped completely. At some point after or during this I started dating Girlfriend Number #2 Crystal Smith.

I wasn't over Sabrina but I dated her anyway, it went alright. Stuff happened but it ended badly. Sabrina wanted to get back together with me. and it was going bad with crystal. And I had to choose between them. First hard decision of my life. I choose Crystal. We broke up two weeks later. Bad choice. Although, I don't know what it would have been like the other way. then Next It was Sarah Barrit for a month. It was alright. But She got annoying. sound sbad, but she just wasn't smart, and I couldn't talk to her. Then Kate Miller. 5 days. Because she liked me for ages, but so did Zoee' Eccles. And I kinda dated Kate out of pity, and that never works. So We broke up. And I went out with Zoee' Who I got along with a lot better. In between all this Assessment was going well. This was grade 9 and I ended up getting top of JIT (computing) and Science as well as academic excellence and a merit award. While all this was happening, My parents split up. It kinda started in grade 8 and was official by start of grade 9 we were in a different house. And dad lived in the old one. This was annoying. But I couldn't fight it. Started dating Zoee' she wouldn't open up to me for a while. But I convinced her she could trust we me. It went well from then. I was generally happy. But then shit happened. Like always.

We broke up. I forgot how. Something stupid. But we didn't talk. Then a week later. I got a text from Maree, My brother's girlfriend and Zoee's Good friend. She said she didnt want to be the one to tell me but that weekend Zoee' and my friend Josh were "snogging each others faces off". (This was a monday night.) This probably would seem out of the blue for all you readers. So I will explain. Josh used to very slightly like Zoee', this was in the stage when he decided using chicks was a good thing. Zoee' not having been in a real relationship before. Went along with it. I don't blame her for that. But Then She started to like me and we went out and that affair ended. But then I hear of this. I spent the next half hour ringing people who were there to get the whole story. Turns out they weren't "snogging each others faces off" but instead they did kiss. Everyone confirmed this. Everyone except Josh. I knew he was lying. He knew he was lying. Everyone did. But he refused to admit it. This is the point I lost all respect for him.

Me and Zoee' dated again a few days later. We sorted it out. I forgave her. A few weeks after. When things had calmed down. I confronted josh on msn asking me why he did it. Why he lied and kissed her. and fucked up my life for a bit. His excuse? He did it cause it was fun for him. And it suited him. I saved most of the convo. The reason why? I was determined to tell every chick he tried to use what kind of guy he was. It worked, I wrecked it for 2 girlfriends, and made a third wary of him.

But anyway, Life went on, I kept going through grade 9. My relationship with Zoee' got stronger. But First I should explain. That it always had problems. And I eventually explained to her why I sometimes acted weird. Because of my parents fighting and moving and being bullied occasionally and in primary school. I had developed 3 things. 1) I had severe Paranoia. Now it only comes when I'm stressed. 2) Split personality disorder. Inside my own head. I would talk to myself without knowing I was. And you have no idea how annoying a conversation with yourself is. You know exactly what you are going to say, before you said it. 3) I didn't know it at the time but I was Depressed.

She helped me get through it, that's why I value our relationship more than anything. I went through and finished grade 9 and Started grade 10 with my subject being IPT (computing, programming etc) Drama, FTV (Film and Television) Math, English, Science. I have been doing these all year at an average level, and my teachers like me I think. I have been at this all year. But Lately, I don't know what's happening with mine and Zoee's relationship. It is now 1 year 3 months and 17 days. As I am typing this. But I don't know, I have been stressed alot, so it's probably just paranoia. But I feel she is keeping things from me. But then again she has every right to do that. We are in a bit of a scare at the moment, won't go into details but I hope it will be fine.

I almost forgot Phoenix. She is a girl I used to like and is now Josh's Girlfriend. I asked her out twice and she never responded. It's kinda that simple.

As for the topic of Josh. I have forgiven him. I was reading his blog and I realized why we were friends. We have so much in common. So I told him I forgave him a few weeks back. He didn't know what to say. But yeah. At least I did it.

I was in The Musical Alice in Wonderland, It was should be great. I am also attempting to get a job, and make a steampunk outfit. If you don't know what that is look it up.

I have this Blog and Another.

And that's it. That's my life, think what you want of me.