Monday, November 7, 2011


I don't know what it is or why I feel like this. It's a feeling that comes up in me lately, it's equal parts I hate myself and what the fuck am I doing. And it leaves me feeling inadequate in almost everything.
It's my fault really, I do things that piss myself off, But i can't help it, or I probably could, but I don't try hard enough, which is one of the things I hate. Actually, I'll try list them:

I hate when I am a dick to people. I try not to be.
I hate how lazy I am.
I hate two of the moods I get in.
I hate how argumentative I am.
I hate how apathetic I can be.

That's about it. And because of these things, I feel inadequate and melancholy. I hope it will go away.



  1. I feel like that a lot. Amelia seems to help cheer me up though and get me out of negative thinking, how long this will last? I'm not sure, hopefully a long time. Time will tell I guess.

    But I still feel the same.

    I'm failing school because I am to lazy and when I do try my hardest I just can't seem to do well enough.
    I hate that I am such a dick to people but so so nice to others.
    I hate that I do little to nothing to make myself feel good but always try make others happy...
    I just hate most of me in general.

  2. See, I don't hate me, I hate parts of me, and the way I act.
    But me as a person, I couldn't be happier.

    There's nothing wrong with being a dick to some people, cause it's up to you who you want to like.
    I just manage to sometimes be a dick to the people I like.